I’m not a very good dancer and I really love to dance; it brings me a lot of joy. When I was 5 years old, I cried to my mom that I was never going to be the best at anything, someone would always be better. She didn’t disagree and my ego was ruined. She agreed that I wasn’t the best at anything, which made me feel unimportant, like I didn’t matter and I never would. But she meant that I did matter — that I mattered so much it didn’t matter what I achieved. And it didn’t have to be based on what anyone else was doing. I matter when I dance because I have joy when I dance — because I’m aware of how alive and energized I feel — how strong and controlled and vulnerable I can be all at once.
It’s meaningful to me to be able to capture some of my dance journey that started two years ago when I leafed through my local community center brochure and came across an affordable ballet series class. I had only taken 3 or 4 classes when I was a 4-year-old and was overwhelmed with the embarrassment of my mismatched outfit from my peers. During gym class, I was a slow learner and did not possess a natural aptitude for rhythm and movement. Now that I’m older, (and we don’t have to coordinate outfits) I choose to embrace the awkward pain and discomfort of learning and failing (and flailing!) with others. I’ve been dancing with Kat this whole time and we have since migrated to a dance studio where I’ve also been taking contemporary and hip hop classes, and I even met friends going out salsa dancing this past year. It’s been a lot of fun.
With my I CHOOSE INK project, I feel empowered to create a space and community for teens to freely express themselves outside of school, sports and competition, religion, and family. My dance classes give me the in-person community I need today and I’m excited to share my joy of dance with others.
Without further ado, my interview with Kat.
1. Describe your dance communities. What compels you to teach dance?
My dance communities are built of humans of all ages, sizes, and abilities. Our focus is on our abilities now, and today, not what could be, or has been. Gently working within your abilities, how can we lean into that to get a great workout that is fulfilling both mentally and physically. It's about the individual: Some people attend for mental health, some physical health, and some both. It's about bravery: At its core, dance is about throwing your body across the room and trusting it to fly. The moment someone gets to experience that, their eyes light up, and they feel so powerful! This moment of empowerment is a long process of trust, both between student and teacher, and between student and self, and it's an honor every day to be a part of that trust process.
2. A central idea of I CHOOSE INK is “Let Your Body Speak.” How does that connect to you in your daily life?
I actually have "Don't Panic" tattooed on my arm! It's placed in a spot where, if my arms are crossed in front of me, it's highly visible: And that's on purpose. Daily reminders to make informed decisions about myself and my environment to create a space that's both mentally and physically healthy keep me going.
3. What inspires you about Gen Z?
I love the self-advocacy of Gen Z. It's so impressive that this community won't stand for the status quo that existed before: Our bodies aren't machines, our minds are important, we deserve better, and Gen Z is demanding it.
4. What do you want the next generation to have more of?
Time. We live such fast lives. Get through school as fast as you can. Graduating early is applauded, and extra time given is considered truancy. Get the job done quickly, whatever it is, and stopping to enjoy the process of what you're doing is considered wasteful. It's a shame, really, that the pace of life is outpacing us. Average lives extend into your 80s. That's a LONG time to feel rushed. If the next generation can have time to sit, think, tinker, dream, create - All without expectation of time limits or output quotas... THAT would be such a gift.
5. One of your gifts as a dance teacher is your ability to meet anyone where they are at in their abilities without judgment so they can have the confidence to keep going. Why is the acceptance of others so important to you? What are ways that you find acceptance in yourself?
I have lived many years not being accepted. The primary person not accepting me was myself, which feels so cliche to say, but I let my anxieties get in the way of doing pretty much anything up until recently. Until I had accepted that I will meet these new environments as a learner (even as a teacher), and embraced the idea of saying yes right now doesn't mean yes if it's not a good fit- I've really been able to fulfil some dreams I never thought possible.
I think it's also important to be mindful of the fact that even if you're not the best at something, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy doing the thing. You can perform, express yourself, take a class, grow your mind: All for you and that's OK. In a classroom, it's so important to meet everyone individually in order to achieve their goals. It is a gentle balance of creating opportunities, scaffolding the skills to attempt them, and allowing students to have their boundaries if they say no. There's always an alternative option, and that alternative should never be served up with a side of shame. We all carry the weight of past experiences that held us back from the skills we've wanted to grow, and now we're here trying this thing together: That in and of itself should be celebrated!
6. What benefits could a teen/adolescent in one of your classes gain by trying I CHOOSE INK?
I think reminders of empowerment are so important. Reminders of what we can and will do. Reminders of what we don't want to do, whether again or ever. Art. expression, letting your emotions out, in a constructive and visceral way is empowering, real, and a great touchstone for keeping you physically and mentally grounded in life.